All that I know is I'm breathing, now.

This isn't a pretty, uplifting, mild-mannered post. If that is what you are looking for, read one of the previous entries. This is real. And raw. And crass. And I don't care.

Updates.... because I know you've all been clamoring for them

     So many things to update, and so little time to do so! I'll stick to the high points, cause the lows are kind of a downer. Massage school is crazy, and wonderful, and intense, and informative and a bunch of other fitting adjectives.  Online school is alright. I'm in a lit class and a math class. Both would be great if my laptop worked and I was capable of participating like I'm supposed to. I can't complain though, I have had it for over 6 years, and it's been through the ringer. I'll just have to figure out a way to make it last a little longer....

     Home life is terrific! The Stud decided I was pretty much a keeper. He liked it so he went and put a ring on it. We're still getting used to using the 'f' word (fiancée/fiancé, y'all). I have been so burnt out on everything that I threw myself into planning the wedding and have gotten nearly everything planned, so that's nifty.

     The holidays are approaching and I have done ZERO gift shopping. I am pretty much broke from spending all my money on gas and food, so that's probably not going to happen. Hope everyone likes handmade gifts! Speaking of, I've been knitting again. I'm actually making a few things for coworkers, so that's helping with money. I am doing a scarf trade with another coworker, which is exciting because I love her scarves.

     Since I have been really busy losing my mind, I haven't had time to write.... which drives me even further up a wall. I decided I would try my hand at a few more short stories, so I'm in the process of writing those. I'm going to try and put one up this weekend, so here's hoping that gets accomplished.

     Oh, and just about all of my sisters' eggos are prego. So that's super fun.

     That's about it. I know this isn't the best post there ever was, buuut beggars can't be choosers (because, ya know, there people begging me to blog....)

Until next time, y'all....
-Sam

Big News, Little Post

Oh my damn, y'all! It's been a great day! Wanna know why?
Guess you'll have to keep reading :)

Elementary, my dear Watson.

So this past week we had to write a short drama scene for class. I was terrified. I had no idea how to write a screenplay, much less what I would even write about. Thankfully, The Stud's brother is pretty freakin smart, and helped me brainstorm writing topics. Once we settled on one, I started writing. In the middle of it, I scrapped everything I had, and started over with something based off of what we thought of. Guess what? It's pretty great. I'm pretty proud. And I got a pretty "A" on the assignment. Boom.

Here's the finished product for y'all. Enjoy!


FADE IN:

EXT. CITY PARK - DAY

A couple sits together on a park bench surrounded by trees, frolicking children, and joggers passing on their afternoon runs.

The WOMAN stares sadly at BEN, holds his hands tightly in hers.

WOMAN

Don't you understand? It's not something I can control! I can't just change my mind.

Ben pulls his hands away.

BEN

I think you could, dear. You could if you tried. Don't you love me at all?

A tear rolls down Ben's cheek. The woman wipes it away, and lifts his chin so their eyes meet.

WOMAN

Honey, you know that I do. You also know that has nothing to do with how I feel about him. This is ridiculous. Why are we even having this discussion?

Ben stares at her, bewildered by her question.

WOMAN

Jesus, Ben, you act like this is a deal breaker! Out of everything we have been through, this is what makes you want to throw in the towel?

Ben turns away, crosses his arms over his chest.

The woman lets out an over exaggerated SIGH.

Ben spins around to face the woman.

BEN

Are you kidding me right now? What, am I just supposed to pretend you don't feel the way I do? What about him is so appealing to you?

WOMAN

(Blushing)

Well... I mean, you know I am so attracted to you...

Ben leaps up off of the bench, fists balled by his sides.

BEN

I knew it! It's the muscles, and the hair. I'll bet it's the name, too! Everyone knows him. Everyone!

The woman rises to her feet as well, places her hands on his chest trying to placate him.

WOMAN

Darling, you know that's not it. It's a simple matter of taste, and what I expect to get out of your role. What did you expect? Honestly?

BEN

I expected a little class, for one! I expected you to value intellect over brawn. Results over action!

The woman glances away sheepishly.

WOMAN

(Mumbles)

Oh he gets results, don't worry.

Ben is stopped short. His shoulders hunch, defeated.

BEN

Is that it then? That's how you feel?

The woman takes Ben's hand and pulls him back, seated on the bench.

WOMAN

Yes, darling. I told you. I can't help how I feel. He moves me in a way you don't. That doesn't mean this has to end.

BEN

I'm afraid it does.

Ben stands, starts to walk away, stops to speak over his shoulder.

BEN

I can't be with a woman who thinks DOWNEY plays a better SHERLOCK HOLMES than me.

FADE OUT.

On Writing, Critiquing, and Homework... and stuff.

     So I've been doing the school thing since April, and I've actually learned a great deal. Most of which revolves around how quickly I can turn out work when I give myself about three hours to finish it. Go me?

Always few and far between...

So this month has been a whirlwind. It's already over before it's begun. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and this is what I found out: I'm awesome at stuff, so I should do the stuff I am awesome at. Savvy?

Toast.

I posted this to my facebook page, and thought I would share it with the three people outside of facebook who read this... 

I remember when my Papa was still around, getting up out of bed around midnight when I would stay with him and my Mema, and sneaking into the kitchen. He'd always be awake, and when I'd wander in wanting a midnight snack or feeling restless, he'd indulge me. Every time. I would shuffle in, and sit down next to him at the kitchen table, and we'd talk. Just me and him. If I was hungry, he would split a Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie between us, and we'd giggle and eat and talk. Sometimes, though, he'd fix me a glass of milk, and make us each a slice of buttered toast. When we were done, he'd walk me back to my room, I would climb into bed, and he would say, "Goodnight, darlin'. I love you," and I'd go right to sleep. 

Tonight, for the first time since he passed away nearly 13 years ago, I got up out of bed, restless and wanting a snack, and made myself a piece of buttered toast. I stood at the counter, eating and drinking a glass of milk, and all of a sudden I smiled. I felt him there. I spoke aloud and told him about my day. When I was done, I walked back to my room, climbed in bed and said, "Goodnight, Papa. I love you, too."

I might have toast every night.

I get knocked down....

... But I get up again! You're never gonna keep me down! Thank you, Chumbawamba, for one of the best worst songs ever. (< I'm sure that'll be up for debate. Save it. That song is about as good as dog vomit on cereal).  Alright. Here I am, over a month after my last post, ready to bare my soul to you five readers about failure and quitting, the affects of drama on fitness goals, and how tough it is to stick to something you so want to accomplish because of the idea that you might actually succeed. Wait, what?

::Insert "Rocky" Theme Music Here::

Via my Instagram
@Sweet_Lil_Raz

Who doesn't love a give-away? Let me just say, if it's free, I'm all about it. If it's free workout gear that I usually couldn't afford, and if I could I would just end up spending the money on candy something else? Yea. I'm all over it. Which is why I put in all four entries to win a $250 gift card to Glyder Apparel. There's only like... 5,000 entries so far.... So my chances of winning are pretty craptastic solid. Why, then, would I share this give-away information with all of you? Because, my friends, there's only about 3 people reading this blog. So what's 12 more entries?

^That's a button. Go on. Push it. 

So go on, head on over to Mama Laughlin's blog (only my favorite blogger ever), and enter to win some neato swag from Glyder! I love the Lotus tanks and the ninja crop leggings.... SO CUTE!
 
And now on to what I've been doing over the past week... And lemme tell ya, it's pretty exciting. Like.. balloon animals, and bouncy houses exciting.

Wrap it Up! ... Just read it, you dirty bird. It's not what you think.

It's not pretty... But it's a damn good start!

Two posts in one day, whaaat? I thought I would let y'all in on how I jumpstarted my weight loss goals for the year. Is it cheating? ... Maybe. Does it make me feel awesome? Uh, Yea! I'm awesome already, though, so... ya know... It's hard not to feel that way. Alright! Enough of my narcissism. Go on. Keep reading. You know you want to.

New Year, New Me? Psh, I'm Awesome. Try Sam 2.0. Beta-Tested and Approved

With the new year fast approaching, I sat down and chose five things I would like to accomplish in the coming year. Feel free to follow along, and watch as I attempt to make good on my resolutions. C'mon. It'll be fun (that's what she said!)